3 Things To Know About The Truth Behind Your Influence
Being influential can mean the difference between success and failure. Yours.
Influence is touted to women as an outer or external component as a means of getting what you want.
This is logical IF you accept influence as how to exert power over someone or a situation. James Ford instructs leaders on the five sources of power to influence people: reward power, coercive power, legitimate power, expert power and referent power.
Each of these "sources of power" are external ways of persuading or influencing something outside of yourself.
Dale Carnegie knew differently. He taught valuable lessons on how to influence people, and much of Carnegies lesser-known beliefs are about attitude (frame of mind or feeling) and sincerity (honesty). Traits that initiate from within a person. Nobody is in charge of your attitude or sincerity.
Understanding where your influence originates, develops and is expressed is critical to a womans source of influence and power. More and more women are asking, "Where do I connect or receive this power? How do I build my influence?"
There are 3 essential things to know when becoming influential:
1. Most lessons of modern-day influence are written by men who talk about outer experiences addressing the doing aspect of influence.
Dr. Robert Cialdini teaches, The key is to characterize what it is they know they should be doing in a way that makes it more likely theyll engage in that behavior. Give them a value that they connect to the behavior. This produces more adherence.
Adherence. The if-I-do-this-than-you-will-do-that rule of influence. These rules simplifyand even distort by watering downthe essence and value of influence. Especially a womans influence.
The If I do this than you will do that, is a low-level explanation of influence. Again, using external learning and actions to determine the success of influence.
Whats more, none of these say this and do that teachings take into account something very importantthe personality.
Outer results (and actions) are just 33% of the influence pie...ignoring talents and innate abilities women bring to the table.
Women may understand how the modern power game is played but they dont need to accept it.
2. Whats being taught about influence in the mainstream negates your most precious resource to create a life of total fulfillment. Intuition. Yours.
What women do best is allow their intuition to serve them -in business, in relationships, in decisions and in life.
How you work inside. The emotions you feel. Your soul. Everything that makes you the woman you are. No interference from outside distractions wanting to control the result.
According to Merriam-Webster, influence is an ethereal fluid held to flow from the stars and to affect the actions of humans, an emanation of spiritual or moral force, or the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command.
Wow. What a beautiful definition.
The origin for the word influence comes from the Latin influere which means to flow into. Post-Roman Era Latin introduced the term influential which became influence in French. The English language took its definition of influence from the French.
Websters definition of influence to flow into sparks curiosity - on a gut level.
Women want to be influential. Influence as only whats done to someone else is superficial.
That which is superficial is, by nature, disempowering.
What is the component thats both vital and palpable in determining where your influence comes from, how you influence yourself, and only then how you influence your environment?
In other words, what is the sourcenot the executionof influence?
3. Influence is more an internal process than an external one.
Theres a difference between human being and human doing. Instead of having influence, become influential. Being influential begins with the inner process of listening to your intuition, your soul, and your sense of knowing.
Its the alignment of your soul, your mind and your response.
The soul and mind are the being aspects of influence.
The outer aspect of influence is the doing aspect.
At your fingertips (and inside your soul) is the information you need to focus and stay on track with your influence goals, the dynamics you need to understand, the people youre influencing, and the traps. This is where you will see every possible influence angle in order to harness its power for your benefit.
Carnegie knew the secret of influence. And it comes from the inside out.